1. Neither of us have magical telepathic abilities.
Khai and I are quite skilled communicators, but sometimes we fall short when communicating with each other. In most situations, I can explain processes quite eloquently, but it seems my skills are somewhat useless on Khai. After a number of ‘squabbles’ over how to complete a task, I finally realised why my communication skills are useless: I assume he’s not stupid. Ok, this sounds wrong and offensive, but I guess it’s another way of saying that I think our brains are magically joined and he can envision what’s in my head as I’m saying it.
Source: Daily Mail
As it turns out, most of the time we’re talking about the exact same thing, but we just have different ways of explaining it to one another. The solution? Assume nothing. Don’t assume they can read your mind, and sometimes it’s best to explain things as if you’re explaining it to a 12 year old (no offence, Khai).
2. Play on your strengths.
Same life values? Check. Same skill set? Not even close - we almost have nothing in common. I’m not just talking about my ability to do laundry vs. his ability to BBQ (yes, gender stereotypes exist in this relationship). I’m talking about true strengths, skills and passions. To account for our differences Khai = function, while Lel = form. Khai takes care of the systems, processes, accounting and logistics; these areas are where his skills lie and where my mind drifts off to contemplating my next meal. On the other hand, I’m in charge of product sourcing, packaging, (most) photography and other visual elements; last night Khai couldn't tell between blue and purple, so I’m not sure he should be trusted with the ‘pretty’ stuff.
When working together, you need to make sure your skills are complimentary. I trust Khai when it comes to the accounting stuff, and I know he trusts me for most of the design elements. This way, we don’t butt heads on every little aspect, if we did, we’d get nothing done!
3. Sometimes, I just can’t focus when he’s around
There are many reasons for this. Sometimes it’s because Khai likes to dance at random occasions or show me funny YouTube clips, but at other times, it’s because he’s an “ideas man” and just doesn’t shut up when his mind is churning out ideas. (Note: he’s currently distracting me by telling me the best room to be in when the Walking Dead/zombie apocalypse becomes reality).
I’m realising now that multitasking is dangerous (I’ll do a blog about this later), and that you truly need to focus to get quality work done. I’ve begun telling Khai when I need time to concentrate and most of the time he refrains from dancing during these ‘focus sessions’.
Related: Khai's counter blog
4. Business is all you’ll ever talk about.
This can be good and bad. See, whenever we’ve had a ‘project’ is in the works, we discuss it CONSTANTLY. e.g. when we were planning our move to Berkeley, planning the wedding, planning our Europe trip, etc. The Kit Source is the same, but this project’s timeline is a LOT longer.
I think when you’re both passionate about the idea, talking about it constantly is a good thing. It’s great to have someone who’s equally (if not more) interested in the topic as you are. I sure hope we keep this up, but I sure have had those moments where I’ve said “no business talk for the next hour” - it usually doesn’t last the full hour though.
5. Don’t take things personally, but still be nice to one another.
Khai will agree that I’m a wee bit sensitive. I have high standards and if I do something ‘wrong’, I feel stupid and kinda beat myself up about it. Khai will rarely, if ever, tell me that I’ve done something incorrectly, but if it does happen, I feel gutted as I don’t want to disappoint him. Why? Well I could just be PMS’ing, but it’s more likely that I’m just too sensitive and have taken something personally.
I’m still working to overcome this - it’s a steep challenge for me as I’m a self-diagnosed people-pleaser and like to do things right. I need to find the balance between being too nice and simply shrugging things off and getting on with it. Khai has told me that he married me because I’m nice, and I wouldn’t want that to change.
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